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Weird Science

3.24 Pirates

Wyatt is starring in the school musical about pirates and has a crush on his leading lady. Lisa helps him out by zapping up a wish, but it goes out of whack and she turns all the dress dummies into real pirates. They attack the school and take Principal Scampi prisoner. 

As they tear through the school singing, they run into Chett who’s come to pick up Wyatt from rehearsal. As the pirates approach, in full costume and song, Chett says, “Sweet sizzling skidmarks. Who’s been shaking the freak tree?”

When they try to get him to sing for his life, he knocks out the pirate king and says, “I hate showtunes.” They put the captain’s hat on him and he becomes the new pirate king.

They build a ship in the school shop and take to the streets. They travel (via slave Scampi’s pedaling in the hull) to a Treasure Island Petting Zoo. Gary, Lisa, Wyatt and his girl follow them and try to figure out what to do. Chett spots Wyatt and calls him out for a duel. The two have a rousing sword fight around the playground and over the jungle gym. Finally, Chett knocks Wyatt's sword away and is about to "slice him into seabiscuits" until Lisa and Gary distract him with music -- disco music.

The spell-bound pirates are conditioned to respond to music, so they start singing and dancing to “Join the pirates,” with Captain Chett leading the pack. They’re all over the playground equipment, shaking their booties. Then one of the fellow pirates with a deep, sexy voice, sings at Chett’s prompting: “Ah captain. Slow and sexy. Baby, he can go all night. Fires, fires off that cannon. My, my, my till he gets in right.” Then Chett fires the cannon.

Lisa and Gary realize knocking off their hats turn the pirates back into dressmaker's dummies. Finally, Chett is the lone pirate left, but he won’t give up. He threatens to lay waste to their navies and cities. Wyatt sneaks up behind him and knocks him into the pond. 

This is an hysterically funny, creative episode and Chett is sexy as hell in the pirate captain role.

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a singing pirate!


The Chett Quotient:

Chett Guh Factor: 10
Chett Intensity: 10
Chett Humor: 10