3.23 Master Chett
This is the episode where Chett learns -- and remembers -- about
Lisa being a "magic genie."
When the episode opens, you see a shirtless Chett, cooing: "Oh, yeah, baby. You know you want it. You're dirty and I'm going to give you what you need." Then
he raises the buffing tool to wax his Jeep.
Lisa and the boys are watching from the trees and decide they need to humiliate Chett. So they turn the jeep into a motorcycle with a large biker sitting on it. He rides away while Chett sputters confusedly. Lisa and the boys come out of their hiding spot. The boys introduce Lisa and tell him she's a genie with powers. Then Lisa tries to zap his memory but it doesn't work. Turns out, she's zapped him so many times that it no longer works.
A quick X-ray check reveals he has a brain callus. Heh.
Chett is delirious with the possibilities of having a genie around,
and later in the park, he taunts Lisa. He tells her he wants "a cold one and a hot tongue bath. Chop. Chop." She turns him into a pudding cup and threatens to eat him. He gives up and she changes him back. Then he threatens to tell everyone her secret if she won't cooperate. He sees a police officer and walks up to him. Lisa zaps him with a
helmet and antennae that he can't remove. So, when he talks to the police officer, he
looks and sounds a tad crazy.
He comes back to the house later and agrees to share Lisa with the boys. Lisa says, "You're not the boss of me." Gary agrees and adds, "You're not her master. We are." That pisses Lisa off and Gary keeps digging himself deeper, so Lisa disappears.
Chett finds her at the coffee shop and tries to be sincere and charming. She's not buying it. He announces, "You leave me no choice. Not even your magic powers can fight this," and he leans in to kiss her. She zaps out and replaces herself with the big biker. (Is this Lee's first m/m screen kiss? *g*) Chett sits back, startled and the biker grabs his shirt. "I'm gonna say this once - when you get home you better call me." LOL! Chett runs out of the shop.
He goes home and tears Wyatt's room apart. The guys come in and ask what he's doing. "Looking for the lamp," he said. They try to tell him there is no
magic lamp, but he's not listening. Just then, he finds a lamp behind the computer. He rubs it and Lisa comes out, claiming Chett is her master. She says he can have three wishes and then she's gone. He wishes for a million wishes. She gets annoyed and goes back inside the lamp. Chett goes to get a beer and Lisa drags the boys inside the lamp.
They ask what she's doing and she explains that if she gives Chett three wishes, she'll satisfy his need for magic and then she'll disappear and he won't know she's gone. The guys are skeptical.
Down in the kitchen, Chett is ready with his first wish. "I wanna see you naked," he says. She zaps him and he's standing there naked, artfully hidden behind a pot of wooden spoons.
He's aggravated that she tricked him and later comes up with what he thinks is a full-proof wish - he wants to be King of the Universe. She gives him a king's robe, a crown and a banner. He thinks he rules all, but when he says something sexist to a woman in the coffee shop, he gets punched.
At home, with a bloodied nose, he says he doesn't understand how he could be punched when he's king of the universe. Lisa says, "Oh, you meant
this universe? You didn't specify. Don't you watch Star Trek?"
Now he's really ticked and wants to best her. As his third wish, he tells her he wants all her powers as a genie. (Oh, and we find out his middle name is Palomino!) She grants his wish but it's an illusion. He zaps up a motorcycle and drives off, but he's really just puttering along making cycle noises and mouthing off to hot babes and the cops.
Later, he conjures up a tropical island and a harem, but he's really in a mental institution and making come-ons to the male nurse. When the spell wears off and he sees where he is, he asks, "Where's my harem?"
The nurse says dryly, "Let me go see what's keeping them."
Lisa eventually takes pity on him and comes to his rescue,
disguised as a member of the universe of which he is king.
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The Chett Quotient:
Chett Guh Factor: 8
Chett Intensity: 9
Chett Humor: 9