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Weird Science

3.12 You’ll Never Eat Brains in This Town Again

Gary and Wyatt are making a horror movie out of Lisa's screenplay -- a zombie movie. Chett wanders in and insists on being the stunt coordinator. 

Lisa gets frustrated with the quality of the actors playing zombies (especially after Chett injures one of them with a stunt!). So, of course, she creates real zombies. She reassures everyone that the zombies are very docile during the day.

However, there are problems. One scene has Chett setting up a shot where he is to kick at the zombie's head and the zombie is supposed to snap his head back. Of course, the zombie doesn't react -- being undead and all. Chett kicks his head off and completely freaks out, thinking he has killed someone.

Filming goes on longer than Lisa intended, and the zombies start to get restless at sundown. They are ready to feed on some tasty brains!

About this time, Chett returns with a pile of savings bonds. He tries to give them to Wyatt so his brother can buy him out of trouble for killing the "actor." Chett is afraid of going to jail. "I can't go to prison," he cries. "I have sexy skin! I barely made it out of boot camp!"

Chett, however, is quite relieved to learn that the zombies are real, including the guy he killed.  He's off the hook for murder. You can't kill someone who's already dead! 

He is put in charge of watching Lisa, who was bitten by a zombie and is turning into one. He ties her to a chair and as she turns into a zombie, she tries to seduce him into letting her go.

She says: "Brains. Crack skull. [Chett looks alarmed.] Suck Chett. [Chett looks excited.] Eat Brains. Brains."

Chett says, "Weird. This is my letter to Penthouse word for word." 

Then Lisa tries again with the promise of licking Chett. He starts to untie her and then she mentions eating his brains. He says, "So close. You almost had me there."

Meanwhile, Principal Scampi tells the guys that salt stops zombies. Unable to find salt, they use tater tots (high in sodium!) to shape dummies of themselves. The zombies eat the tater tot heads and the zombies dissolve. 

There's one last thing to do. Lisa has to erase Scampi's and Chett's memory of her and the zombies. She creates some new memories for them, and we see them passed out with bottles of booze in their hands. They decide they've become drinking buddies and toast one another.

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The Chett Quotient:

Chett Guh Factor: 7
Chett Intensity: 8
Chett Humor: 9