1.1 She's Alive
Gary Wallace and Wyatt Donnelly are geeks just starting high school. They decide they need advice on women from a woman.
Chett is Wyatt’s older brother and he’s a bully who picks on Wyatt and calls him names. He returns from military school in his jeep with the license plate that reads:
AZZ KIK R. He struts out of the jeep wearing boots, brown pants, a flak jacket and a
camouflage shirt. He also has on sunglasses and is very confident. He orders the boys to get his stuff, which includes a stuffed moose head.
"Is there any chow in the house? I could eat a dog as big as a
horse," he exclaims.
Chett’s Dad asks why Chett turned down his commission. Chett says he had no choice because the doesn’t want to work for a bunch of slackers in a
Third World country. His dad asks how long he’s staying. He’s not sure, could be awhile. He walks up to Wyatt, puts his arm around his shoulder and burps in his face and pats him. “How’s that rub
Gary says, “Pray for war.”
Gary prods Wyatt to use his computer knowledge (along with Gary’s aptitude for picking out babes) to create a computer
genie who can grant wishes. Wyatt makes sure she gets lot of intelligence, while Gary makes sure she’s hot. When they create her, all the electrical appliances in the house blow.
Chett comes in moments after Lisa appears and asks what the hell is going on. When he sees Lisa, he says, “Whoa, who is the little glitter tramp?” Gary gives her the name Lisa so she introduces herself. Chett says, “Whatever. (to boys) Takeoff. Lisa and I can hammer this out on the privacy of my futon, right honey?” Lisa tells him she belongs to Wyatt and Chett is aghast. “You belong to this pile of stinkweed? You’re yanking me.”
She tells him she’s part of Wyatt and since Wyatt thinks Chett is disgusting so does she. Chett turns to Wyatt and tells him he’s dead and shoves him into a locker. Wyatt wishes Chett would go to to hell, so Lisa sends him there.
He re-appears at the end, his clothes smoking. He charges into the house and pulls Wyatt into a bear hug, claiming he’s been through hell. He catches himself in mid-hug and pulls back, claiming it never happened and runs up to his room.
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The Chett Quotient:
Chett Guh Factor: 8
Chett Intensity: 6
Chett Humor: 7